" An absence, the declining of an invitation to diner, an unintentionally unconscious harshness are of more service that all the cosmetics and fine clothes in the world" –Marcel Proust
I can't believe how long it's been since I posted something about the book Art of Seduction.I'm almost done reading all the characters, and I'm ready to start phase 2 but like I promised I'm going to share with you the process of choosing my seductive character, so let's follow up with the next one, shall we? The Coquette.
There's a song from any of my favorite Italian singers that goes "E più mi vorrai e meno mi vedrai, E meno mi vorrai e più sarò con te" (the more you want me the less you will see of me, and the less you want me the more I'll be with you) it's kind of an odd request in a love song but isn't that what everyone has always told us what to do? Wait 3 days before you call, Kiss only after the 3rd date, Don't say "I love you" until he/she does. I mean these are the usual techniques to "play hard to get". For the coquette though, more than a game is a lifestyle.
The Coquette knows when to give a little, take a little and hold back. To be honest I believe most of us really suck at this. I have yet to meet one person that has master the hot and cold game without being taken for a douche, a player or a tease. For the Coquette is a whole new different story.
There are two kinds of Coquettes:
The Hot and Cold Coquette
This might sound like a simple process but it actually takes a lot of technique to master the skills of a Hot and Cold Coquette. The basic idea is to give a peep without actually showing the full frontal. Remember "give a little, take a little?" yup! That's what hot and cold it's all about, but you have to know the exact time to hold back and the moment to give in. Green says it perfectly in the book
"An easy conquest has a lower value than a difficult one…Your greatest power in seduction is your ability to turn away, to make other come after you, delaying their satisfaction. Most people miscalculate and surrender too soon" –The Art of Seduction, Pg 71
Do remember though that sometimes playing "hard to get" results in "impossible to care for", so don't give too little and don't give too much, know when things are starting to go the wrong route change your game.
The Cold Coquette
You know that guy/girl that you try so hard to get answers from but he/she just stands there being their charming selves without saying what you want to hear and you just want to slap them in the face and be like "Snap, Out of it!"? ok maybe the slap is not included but it has happened that someone's lack of reaction makes you over-analyze the simplest gestures and even sometimes doubt yourself in the process. Yet somehow you can't make yourself walk away! "There's something about him/her" you say. You amigo are dealing with the Cold Coquette.
The main skill you have to have is to be able to hold back. Make people over-analyze why you do things the way you do without giving them a conclusive answer. Hide a part of your history that will make them think you have something fascinating you don't want to reveal. Act as if you are so self-sufficient nobody else can provide you with the things you need, and people will be looking to brake you. A charming smile with a simple "God Job!" will make them go crazy for you. Be careful though; don't hold back too much cause then you'll just be that emo kid standing in the corner alone with his emotions. Learn to show appreciation and affection but hide a part of you to be more intriguing.
Could I be a Coquette? Um yeah, NO! I simply dislike these kinds of seducers. I tend to automatically expect either a break through or a nervous brake down (especially with the Cold Coquette); and I spent too much of my own energy trying to figure out these kids. Plus I think is obvious I over-share (Case-in-point: a blog about my quest to ultimate seduction) obviously the idea of analyzing the moments I'm trying to hold back or give a wink-not a smile just doesn't apply with me. These kinds of traits have to come naturally in order to play them well. This is certainly NOT my cup of tea!